


Please Pay Attention To How You Feel (It'll Work Out For Everyone, I Promise)

by ToraMeri



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, bless that man for having to deal with this shit, but everyone puts up with him anyways, especially r, minor spot of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2075334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToraMeri/pseuds/ToraMeri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Enjolras messes up again before he finally understands what that weird feeling is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Pay Attention To How You Feel (It'll Work Out For Everyone, I Promise)

**Author's Note:**

> Also in which I realize that I really freaking love metaphors.

“Why don’t you just go home if all you’re going to do is take up space, you miserable piece of existence!” The minute the words leave his mouth, all Enjolras wishes is that he never even uttered them. Grantaire doesn’t say a word, simply picks up his bag and bows mockingly before walking out, leaving the bottle of wine on the table he had been sitting at. Enjolras turns to look at Combeferre and Courfeyrac desperately seeking their help to ‘ _please help me fix this, I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I just need to fix it_.’

 

“Go after him,” is the only advice Combeferre gives him. He hesitates for a split second before running out the door to try and find Grantaire. He doesn’t have to look very far, however, only making it to the alleyway behind the Musain before spotting a dark figure leaning against the grimy wall, cigarette in hand. He opens his mouth, but the words catch in his throat, clogging up the path so that the rest can’t come out. He stands there, frozen at the mouth of the alleyway, unable to let out two simple words. ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’. It isn’t that difficult. But it’s Grantaire, and everything is always so difficult and _different_ with him. Annoyed with himself, he blows a lock of hair out of his face in frustration and turns around to go back inside, steeling himself to lie to the others about whether he had been able to find R or not. Before he can step away from the alleyway however, a voice cuts through him like the crashing of waves upon rocks.

 

“Come to gloat some more? Or how about you tell me more of how utterly _useless_ I am?” Grantaire spits the words out as if they were a poison to be destroyed. Irritation blooms up in Enjolras’ chest, and then suddenly, he can speak again and the words spill out with no restraint.

 

“Well, if _someone_ would just stop coming to our meetings drunk off their ass, or actually did something productive with their lives, I wouldn’t have to yell all the time.” Enjolras regrets the words the minute they escape his mouth, but they _won’t stop_. Grantaire snorts derisively, and throws his half-finished cigarette onto the ground, stubbing it out with the toe of his boot.

 

“Why don’t you tell me how you _really_ think about me then huh? Oh wait, you already did that inside. Didn’t really take you for a sadist though. Do you want to rub it in a little while longer, or just leave it off until next time? The world doesn’t revolve around you, oh fearless leader, and us worthless drunks need to find alcohol to get ourselves drunk.” He tries to push his way past Enjolras, but Enjolras pushes him back into the alleyway and up against the wall. They’re pressed closely together, almost uncomfortably so, and Enjolras takes a step back, raising his hand to run his fingers through the hair that had escaped the low ponytail he usually kept it in. His mind idly remarks that he must have dropped his hair tie when he ran after Grantaire.

 

“I didn’t mean it,” he blurts out before R can try and leave again. “I didn’t mean it in there and I didn’t mean it just now either. I-I’m sorry.” Grantaire gives him an unimpressed look.

 

“Oh well done Apollo. You know how to use your words. Do you want a medal for that?” Enjolras lets out a growl at that. “Ooh, reverting to caveman behavior again? Tut, tut, as if shoving me up against the wall wasn’t bad enough.” A wave of exhaustion rushes over Enjolras and drapes itself around him like a blanket. He lets out a sigh and runs a hand over his face before turning to try and leave again.

 

“Forget it. You don’t care anyways. I give up.” Grantaire’s eyes flash in anger as he grabs Enjolras’ arm and turns him around so that they are facing each other.

 

“No. Seriously Apollo, if you have something to say to me, just spit it out already.” Enjolras’ reply is so quiet, it barely reaches R’s ears.

 

“I can’t.” Grantaire frowns.

 

“What do you mean, you can’t?” This time, it’s Enjolras who pushes Grantaire away.

 

“I meant that I can’t, okay?! This always happens with you! You’re so smart, yet you hide away so that you never reach your full potential! Except that when I try and talk to you like a normal person, or at least be able to talk to you like ‘Ferre or Courf, it doesn’t work. Every time I open my mouth, I say what I don’t mean, or I won’t say what I mean. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I don’t know why. You’re always just _there_ and it’s probably one of the biggest distractions I’ve ever encountered. I can function like an actual human being with everyone else, why can’t I do it with you? I don’t know why I can’t… It’s only ever with you, and I don’t understand why. So why bother? In the end, you don’t even care anyways.” His voice trails to a whisper again. For a few moments they stand there in silence, staring at each other, Enjolras in resignation, Grantaire in shock, until Grantaire’s voice tentatively breaks the silence.

 

“I…” he clears his throat before continuing, “I think I know what’s wrong.” Enjolras’ eyes flick over him as if the answer was written on his skin somewhere. “I’m going to do something, and maybe if I’m right, you won’t be so confused about your feelings anymore, okay?” Enjolras tries not to nod too eagerly, but judging by Grantaire’s soft snicker, it doesn’t work out too well. Grantaire steps towards him, until there is barely enough space between them to fit a sheet of paper. Enjolras’ heart is beating fast in his ears, and his throat is clogged up in nervousness again, and he still can’t understand why this is happening to him again when Grantaire leans in and kisses him gently, closing the gap between them with an unsure finality in his movements. Oh. _Oh_! Grantaire ends the kiss, and Enjolras can’t stop the grin from blooming over his face, because he finally understands. Laughing in pure delight, he curls his fingers in Grantaire’s hair and drags him into another kiss, this one more bruising than the last. They break away from each other, grinning at each other like fools. After a few moments Enjolras opens his mouth, and he sends up a quick prayer that he won’t fuck this up any more than he already did.

 

“So… how did you realize that would work?” Grantaire blinks slowly at him. “What?” Enjolras feels the need to defend himself.

 

“No, I’m just trying to decide if you’re just stupid, or just really fucking stupid.” Enjolras bristles angrily before R continues. “You do realize I’ve been in love with you since I first heard you speak, yes?” Enjolras gapes at him like a fish, unable to find the words ( _again, goddammit why does this always happen ugh_ ).

 

“Oh.” Grantaire rolls his eyes before trying to move away. ‘ _Stop trying to leave dammit can’t you see I’m trying to talk to you?_ ’

 

“Uhm…” Enjolras winces.

 

“I just said that out loud didn’t I?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Great… I didn’t mean for that to come out. Story of my life.” R gives him a smirk.

 

“Well, at least I didn’t end up going anywhere, so… talk away.” Enjolras takes a steadying breath.

 

“Can we try that again? From just now, when you tried to leave. Forget what I said.” Grantaire looks at him, his smirk threatening to turn into a full blown-out shit-eating grin. He pretends to move away again, and Enjolras can feel the words bubbling out of him and spilling out into the air between them.

 

“I love you.” Grantaire freezes and stares at him mutely, the smirk on his face completely obliterated. Enjolras takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you, go out on a date with me?” He bites his lip, telling himself that no, waiting for R to reply to him isn’t making him nervous.

 

“Okay.” R’s voice sounds like he somehow swallowed a bucketful of gravel in the space of two minutes. Enjolras doesn’t even realize that he had received a reply for a few minutes.

 

“That’s… that’s great. Ah, I mean good. I mean, I just. Fuck.” Grantaire snorts out a laugh, and sneaks a look at Enjolras, and then suddenly, they’re both bent over laughing almost hysterically.

 

“We should probably go back inside,” Grantaire gasps out between giggles. They straighten up, and Enjolras tentatively reaches out for R’s hand. When they walk back inside the Musain, hand in hand, the cheers are enough to deafen them. They exchanged soft secret smiles, and they knew that while things weren’t alright, they were okay for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I have this little headcanon that (like me) Enjolras sometimes has a bit of difficulty telling the difference between platonic and romantic love. When they were younger, he thought that he was in love with Combeferre, but when they kissed, he was like "Nah bro." So he gives up on trying to tell the difference and just focuses on his work.  
> (Also, idk how to put links in these, so come find me on tumblr at toraberushimeri)


End file.
